Good Pastor vs. Bad Pastor: Lessons from Robert Morris, the Dalai Lama, and Those Who Serve the Homeless
From megachurches to monasteries, here’s how to tell if a minister is the real deal—or just another fraud in the pulpit.
Sometimes, Friends, it’s just damned depressing to work for a church. The right organization can be a godsend to a community, but a flock following the wrong shepherd is a blight.
Friday’s news began with Reverend Robert Morris, a.k.a. Yet Another Televangelist Arrested for doing bad things to people. This happens so often it’s hardly news, really.
Just to prove this point, I ran a quick search for “Minister Arrested 2025” and lo, many a mug-shot minister rose to the challenge. You can run the same search — “Minister / Arrested / 2025” and view for yourself the hilarious/disturbing results.
Clearly, we need a new word that means “I-told-you-so guilt,” — something like Schadenfreude but with more irony.
Why do people keep falling for bad pastors?
Do they get caught up in the drama and frankly sensual excitement of a forceful public speaker? Is it groupthink, or the desire to be part of a large, energetic organization? Perhaps it’s the sensual overload of the expensive entertainment machine that backs up so many media-savvy ministers today.
A host of contemporary churches run on entertainment value. My stepson works armed security for a church in Nashville that has a phalanx of audio production technicians, sound and light technicians, professional pop musicians, and film directors on staff.
Christianity Today says:
Many churches have been competing in a kind of techno-liturgical arms race to draw seekers, especially young families and professionals, to the “Sunday morning experience” of high-tech public worship….The result—state-of-the-art, high-definition, professional video and audio and music, with smooth transitions and fancy lighting, all frictionless and ready-made for the internet—is simply becoming the norm. It’s what church, or worship, means.
Add to that our human love of confirmation bias.
We like to think of spiritual leaders leading — giving followers the benefit of their specialized religious education. Instead, many (side-eye) ministers have their ear to the ground in the same way a demagogue politician will. They listen to the grumblings of the people and spew it back to them in a form so similar to their thoughts that it seems uncanny, like a spiritual gift.
It’s not. It’s just stagecraft.
Forgive me for sounding smug for a microsecond, but I can’t get away from that kind of “ministry” fast enough. Before I feel too smug, however, let’s revisit my own instance of misplaced loyalty.
Scroll back to 2008. That’s when I supported Democrat John Edwards in his run for president. My husband and I even hosted Edwards’ long-suffering wife, Elizabeth, at our home for a campaign house party — only to find out later he was a turd in a tortilla. While his wife was 1) supporting his campaign while 2) battling a return of breast cancer, he was fathering a child with a member of his staff.
Standards have changed in the past 20 years. If he’d been running in 2024, he’d probably be president.
Despite this lapse in judgement…
I can still reliably determine a solid preacher from a slop bucket
How, you may ask? Given my M.Div. and a couple of decades working with clergy in various capacities, let’s say I know the demographic. Plus, I’ve got a system.
Here’s my personal checklist.
They genuinely care about people. Strangers in the checkout, people driving down the road next to them — they see every human as equally valuable as every other — and each as a representative of the divine. When they ask, “how’s it going?” they both care about and pay attention to the answer.
They are generous with their time. They listen carefully. They may be busy, but they realize their real job is serving people, not planning a church plant, working on their social media presence, or hiring a new sound & lights guy.
They’re balanced. They’re grounded. They continually work on themselves by examining their reactions and sanding down their sharp edges. They’re humble and know they can be wrong.
They are always studying, practicing, and trying to strengthen their connection to the divine source. Their spirituality’s not a “one-and-done” thing, but gradual progress over a lifetime.
The result is someone who maintains their soul connection to the divine every moment of every day, works for the help and betterment of others, and is joyfully, genuinely humble.
Finding spiritual leaders who exemplify this pattern
Having worked with many clergy over the years in the nonprofit world, I’ve known ministers who were like this. They come from various faiths, but all have dedicated their lives to the service of others.
Real ministers’ lives are rarely glamorous. Daily tasks include working with local merchants to arrange clothing, food, or beds for those in need. It’s counseling people in deep depression, despair, or grief. Often it’s arranging emergency funding for someone whose car broke down or can’t make rent. Sometimes it’s going out in the worst winter weather to find those sleeping outside and bring them into shelter.
This work is not easy; people in need can be bitter, lashing out at perceived slights. Thefts and violence can occur to the most undeserving victims. Adding untreated mental health issues and addiction to the mix just intensifies the climate.
Beyond that, good ministers work to maintain the peace within a congregation. They maintain good relations with other spiritual organizations in town, and are ready to help when an arises emergency anywhere — locally or across the globe.
It’s tough work, and no one’s getting rich going into the pits
Anyone who spends their working life living on small church or nonprofit wages, working among people with the greatest need, has all the grist they need to grind their human flaws to smooth perfection.
Being the CEO of a multi-million dollar spirituality-themed entertainment empire apparently does the opposite. Trying to build a church-empire of any size — including the church-plant culture we see so often today — is going in the opposite direction. Any pastor who focuses on growth, numbers, and expansion is not focusing on their real job, which is tending the flock.
After all, Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”
Then there’s The Vibe
Long story short, good ministers are damned good people. Sit with them in a room for a while and you’ll feel different. Better.
It’s not necessarily an issue of what they’re talking about. They could be talking about used clothing donations or insurance coverage, and you’ll still get a contact high. There’s just a vibe around people who are the real thing, and it’s unmistakable.
Oh, I shouldn’t belabor the point here, but here’s an example — a friend and I attended an event where the Dalai Lama was speaking. I don’t remember anything from his talk. I was sitting near the back, struggling to hear, and just missing the gist.
After the event ended, as I was gathering my things to leave, a wave of gentle warmth and affection washed over me. I turned around to find the Dalai Lama and his entourage of Tibetan monks had just walked behind me on their way to the door. The wash of loving emotion had come from them.
And of course it sounds woo-woo, but I’m leaving it here.
However — I AM worried that some readers will think that the giddy feeling they get inside when they hear Joel Osteen (or fill in the blank rich and expensively coifed religious leader of your choice here) speak is the same thing as the vibe I’m trying to describe.
It’s not. It’s not excitement, or enthusiasm, or any of the loud emotions that we can think of. Basically, if you could get the same emotion from a rock concert, it’s not what we’re talking about here.
What you’re looking for is a calm settling of the soul. It’s being grounded, centered, and lit from within with a single candle. It’s quiet and still.
When you feel that, you’ve got found a teacher worth listening to, a guide worth following.
Hello, Enthusiasts! With M.Div. in hand, I’ve spent the past few decades working in the nonprofit world — getting families into permanent housing; helping fund medical, dental and behavioral care; supporting clients in recovery; providing crisis & suicide prevention services; getting the unhoused a safe place to sleep; and throwing love at veterans everywhere.
If you’re feeling flush, please consider tossing a coin into the tip jar. Many thanks, my friend!
Look me up when you’re on BlueSky, LinkedIn, Threads, or Medium!
Just ‘Grok’ them… 🧐
Great analysis. Unfortunately, religion can be - and often is - the locus of enormous hypocrisy and dysfunctional relationships. Cults are the best examples of that.
The problem is that people look for purpose and meaning in their lives, and plausible or charismatic religious teachers prey on that. Typically, they are pushing against an open door when they set out to use and manipulate people,.